My Room

The Burrows Home belongs to the Burrows Family...and when I say it belongs to the Burrows Family, what I mean is, sometimes this home is chaotic and maybe everything isn't just the way I would like it all the time ever. I have a husband. I have 3 children whom I homeschool. They have a giant dog and 2 cats. Outside the home, I have 5 chickens. Our home is regularly tidied and usually somewhat sanitary, but it is difficult to have everything clean and beautiful all the time. And...I can't really have pretty things because EVERYTHING gets broken around here. So I've settled for a simple, humbly appointed, mostly sanitary, sometimes tidy home. It isn't MY home, after all. It is OURS, and I want everyone to feel comfortable and at ease here in our place away from the outside world. A place where we can all be ourselves and enjoy one another's company without pretense.

BUT...I do need that one place where I can close the door and feel peace too, where I can be at ease and be myself, where everything does not get broken, where pets do not reside with their aromas and their shedding, and where I can enjoy some quiet time as I craft, create, write, read, or work. And sometimes sleep when Nick snores too much or I can't get comfy in our shared bed (or when the chaos of untidiness is too much for me in the master bedroom, which my husband has rather appropriated with his mountains of clothing and STUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!

So, a few months ago I laid claim to the guest room. The picture at the top is the guest bed. The cats are normally entirely unwelcome, but someone had left the door open this day, and they did look awfully sweet. I snapped a picture and then shooed them off with my lint roller, and then promptly rolled away any evidence that they'd been here. I just love my bohemian bedding and piles of pillows! This is a bright and happy, yet calming and centering space. I must have had myself in mind (and didn't know it) when I chose the bedding.

Here below we have a recent find. It came to me from a photographer who no longer needed it as a prop. It was painted an aqua/turquoise color, so I brought it home and sprayed it down with a couple coats of mustardy yellow and hung it up to display some fun and happy memories and small paintings of my own. I apologize that the photograph is a wee blurry, but the lighting in here is not good for photography. It is, however, perfect for ME.

The painting below was done by my Great-aunt Mildred, and it hung in my grandparents' home for as long as I ever remembered, until my grandmother died. Grandpa stored it in the shed for a time. My mother got it, and then she gave it to me. It was in an awfully old frame, which literally fell to pieces as it was handled. There was no glass or anything to protect the painting (which maybe isn't a valuable masterpiece, but which has a story and sentimentality, and I love it). So I reframed it this week and hung it above the bed. It is rather larger than it looks here, so almost serves as a headboard for the queen-size bed.

Here we have an old wooden vessel of some sort. I have no idea its original purpose, nor how old it might actually be. This is another piece that belonged to my grandmother and I don't remember a time it wasn't there. I used to play with this as a child. It was everything from a witch's cauldron to a butter churn to a chamber pot in my imagination. Often, I slapped a big, round, red polka-dot pillow on top and it was a giant mushroom for the fair folk. I believe it was also a Barbie hot tub at some point. My Aunt Debbie got this after Grandpa passed and wanted me to have it. I couldn't say no because I do have such memories of it, so it has come to live in my peaceful room filled with things I love.

Last, we have another art piece. This one I commissioned, telling the artist only that I wanted something inspired by the Iron & Wine E.P. Woman King. I cried when this is what I received. I was so moved by her capturing (and her rendering of the Woman King resembling myself) everything about the music that speaks to me so strongly. This piece is 36X72 and fills a wall for me. It is the first thing I see each morning and the last thing each night. I LOVE this painting!

In this room, I sit quietly. I read. I pray. I meditate. I paint. I draw. I write. I work. I listen to quiet music. I watch my chickens from the window. Sometimes I get a good night's sleep. I love this room.

The Face Across The Breakfast Table

When my Grandma Bertie wanted to marry my Grandpa Jim, her father asked a simple question. "Is his the face you want to see across the breakfast table every morning?" Grandma told me that story many times. When the right man came along for me, she asked me that question too. The truth is, I couldn't imagine a face I'd be happy seeing if his weren't also there...across the figurative breakfast table. He doesn't eat breakfast, but the sentiment stands.

In just a few short days, Nick and I will be celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary. It seems like a bigger deal as each year passes. We sure have seen a lot of couples not make it, and some of them more than once. I've been tucked safely into this one's side for half of my life now, and I'm just so awesomely content!

Our marriage was recently the subject of a research paper for a college assignment. A friend asked many thought-provoking questions concerning a marriage with some longevity. At the time, I felt like I couldn't give her very satisfying answers. All of mine were so simple. There was nothing complicated, no long stories. In the weeks since that interview I have returned to those questions many times. I conclude that a few simple, loving practices build a comfortable, fun, happy marriage.

1. Don't nag. Just don't. It really is that simple. Choose not to do it.
2. Let your spouse be him/herself!
3. Encourage his/her goals, ideas, dreams, etc.
4. Be happy for him/her!
5. Lay selfishness aside. Be quick to apologize and eager to forgive.

These things are the foundation for all the rest! They are elemental to a happy marriage. I often get the question how we get on so well when we are so very different. And it's true. My husband and I don't have too much in common. Our backgrounds are vastly different. Our interests are different. Our politics are different. Our spirituality can be unbalanced. Our sense of adventure vs. safety are quite different. We just aren't similar people. But we LOVE each other so much, and we chose one another. We still choose one another every day. We are really, really good at the 5 Practices above.

We've realized that we don't have to be alike to love each other, to do those 5 things for each other. I have followed Nick around the country as he followed his career, covering all 5 elements in just one shot. I have watched friends nag at their husbands/wives and felt so uncomfortable for both of them that I resolved never to nag, and some might say to a fault. Nick is not me. He has his own personality, his own history, and his own aspirations. It isn't love if you can't let him be an individual!

Nick has given me safe, sheltered space to grow into who I am. He has loved me unconditionally and allowed me to blossom without interference. I know that he has extended me grace much more than I deserve across the years. I have never been belittled or made to feel small, and I have seen pride in his eyes when I accomplish something that means a lot to me. He's supported me as I've built 2 businesses now, letting me pave my own way. While he doesn't fully understand the obstacles I have overcome, he knows that some were huge, and he respects the strength inside of me. He isn't afraid of a strong woman. He doesn't feel the need to take that away. I can't think of a more powerful example of selfless love than that which Nick gives to me, and I do not take it for granted.

I can truly say that fighting is so rare I can count it on one hand. We don't agree on everything. We employ the 5 Practices, find a compromise, and move on. I choose Nick. He chooses me. We don't sweat the small stuff.